It's Your Favorite Foreign Foodie

I am working as an archivist and much of the job involves entering data.  When I got my work computer which was a fairly old laptop, there were a pair of lousy computer speakers that came with it.  When I receive an email notification from Lee my supervisor, I hear a two note sound that goes something like "bee bwoh".  When I play music through them, they sound terrible.

My co worker Dan had a receiver and two JBL monitors at his workstation. He quit last week and I took over his sound system.  I was listening to a Beatles mix I made from one of their recent releases. It was the soundtrack to a Cirque de Soleil show.  I knew that it was remixed. I was listening carefully to background sounds that I had never really heard before then I realized the left channel on the amp wasn't working. There was no switch on the amp to make it play in mono. I turned off the music.  It's when I have quiet time to myself that my mind gets interesting ideas.
"If me and my co workers formed a band what would the name be?  Then it hit me. "SteveLee Dan"

Dan had left a bunch of Jolly Rancher lollipops and I thought I would go get one.  He kept them in the freezer to protect them from critters.  Beyond the ice that was forming around the freezer door was a green apple treat.  Next to it in a zip lock bag was one of Dan's burritos that he made.  He had failed to eat it before he left.  I think I'll eat it for lunch on Monday but I better bring a PBJ just in case it sucks.

Crouching Dragon Smoking

I was walking down Clement St. and on the sunny corner of 8th Ave. I saw two Asian kids crouched down on the sidewalk. One was holding a magnifying glass about five inches above the pavement and the other kid was watching the object below the lens.  I thought they were trying to burn insects but as I passed by and glanced down I noticed there was a cigarette butt under the focused beam of sun. I think their parents must have been in the produce market.

On 9th Ave. I ran into my friend Bob. We both enjoyed music, guitar playing and DVDs from the 700 section at the library. Eventually we started talking about Springsteen's "Darkness on the Edge of Town" box set and the song "Adam Raised a Cain"
He though it was too long and the guitar solo had no ideas. I defended its raw and emotional guitar solo. Which is about the point where he veered off to the library.

I crossed to the other side of Clement and visited my friend Robin at his model shop.  He is always working on something cool. He needed help shooting a video of him airbrushing the fins from a Godzilla model. I adjusted the framing and pressed play.
I was also curious if he had sold an item on Ebay for $14,000.
He told me it was bogus and the buyer said his kid was messing around with his computer.  You need to do two steps to finish a transaction on Ebay.  His kid must be really smart and beyond things like a magnifying glass.

Donde Amigos Carne

Whenever I go to a screening at the SF International Film Festival I always run into someone I know.  If the event is at a theatre where I used to work, its always fun to catch up with old coworkers or get new tips on cheap restaurants in the neighborhood. I was heading to the Castro to see a film. I found a good parking spot and walked down a hill to the theatre.
My friend Mark was working in the box office and I asked him if he had watched the DVD I lent him.  He hadn't but said he would watch it this week.  It was Ozu's "Tokyo Story" Then I asked him if he knew of any good places to eat. I didn't want to eat a slice of pizza which is usually my go to meal.  I thought he recommended  "Tacos Tacos"  but when I got to the area where he said it was I only saw "Taco Club"  and it was in the same location as a burrito place that I never really liked.  It had to be "Taco Club".  As one of my other friends said, "How can they mess up a taco? It's just grilled meat on a tortilla"  I walked up to the cashier.
"Dos carnitas tacos"  I said.
"How many tacos do you want?" asked the short Latino cashier.
"Two"  I said.
He then instructed the tall round cashier who was working his first shift how to ring up the order and use your finger to slide to the next screen on the monitor.
When my tacos were ready they were brought to me by the same guy who I saw making them.  They had a nice looking green salsa over the carnitas and came with a small lime wedge.  The tacos were great.  I left T.C and headed over to C.T.  (Castro Theatre) to watch a screening of a silent horror film with a live music score.  I ran into someone from the Asian Film Festival who was standing in front of the box office.  She was wearing blue shoes.
"Are those Famolares?" I asked.
She looked sort of embarrassed.  Her shoes had cool stripes on the side like K-Swiss.  I had a plain brown pair in the 70s.  She was waiting for her friend and when she arrived she took off as if the organist was playing the final measures of "San Francisco".

"H8 in the Gate"

I got called in to work the 70mm Roadshow of Quentin Tarantino's film "The Hateful Eight". It was showing at a multiplex that had 20 screens but only 8 different movies. I have worked in a lot of theaters but never this one. On my break I went downstairs to see real daylight. I brought my courtesy cup I had been given earlier and got a half a cup refill of coffee in the concession area. They also sold candy by weight. I scooped a small amount of gummi bears into a white bag. I tried a red one while pretending to look at the hot dogs and the puffed up bags of chips in red "Nachos"boxes.
It was less than $2.00 for my candy. I took a final glance at the rainy outside and proceeded to head back to the booth.

I walked to the elevator and saw two teenage boys walking into the "XD" auditorium that was playing Star Wars. Each of them had light blue Icees. As they walked towards the door one of the boys who was wearing a pointy beanie said, "Joy" is playing here." I had seen "Joy" and really liked it. It was not a film I thought teenage boys would see unless they were movie buffs and were fans of David O. Russell.
I went back to the booth and started to thread up the projector for the next show. As I was threading up the gate I took a glance out of the port window. I saw the two boys with the Icees who I thought were watching Star Wars. They were both holding their snacks and watching me thread up the projector.  I grabbed a handful of the 70mm film leader and waved it at them.  The skinnier of the two boys gave me a thumbs up.  I continued to thread up the projector and realized they had snuck into the movie as it was rated R. It made me happy.

I'd Like to Thank the Academy

I must have really nailed that role and my research paid off.  Just the other day I went to Shalimar for some Pakistani food and the Hispanic cashier who took my order looked at me and said "Chino"

Extra Credit

   

  I have been doing a lot of "odd" jobs lately.  Tonight I was an extra in a show filmed in San Francisco. I was cast to play a Chinese man. I went to an address on Broadway St. in San Francisco to check in.  I walked in the doorway which seemed familiar. In the first room on the right were the production assistants who were checking in the extras.  I handed a production assistant my passport and he started writing information on the I-9 paperwork. Next to him another production assistant was highlighting various lines on a form with a fluorescent yellow/green marker.  They were complaining to each other about how many extras there were.  I was handed one of the forms and proceeded to fill in the highlighted areas.  I was told to hang on to it till the end of the shoot.  While I was writing my name on one of the lines a costume woman asked to see my outfit which were my street clothes. I told her I also brought mustard jeans, a Pendleton shirt which boasted fall colors, and a down vest. She told me to wear the Pendleton with my grey Levi's Trucker jacket.
     In the adjacent space was a craft service table and what appeared to be the remains of a crew meal. There were long tables set up with chairs and the other Chinese extras were sitting at the tables.  I heard someone say to the costume woman something about "Murder in the First" to which she replied "I didn't work on that."  Most of them had worked on recent films like "San Andreas", and"Steve Jobs"
I scanned the crowd and it looked like they were mostly Chinese faces. I wondered what they thought of me.  A fellow Asian yet not  Chinese. I had been observing Chinese people on Clement street and groups of Chinese who play card games all day in Portsmouth Square. I knew I probably couldn't clear my throat and spit but thinking about it now, maybe I should have done it. The sound editor could have edited it out if he wanted.
I scanned the room again and suddenly I realized I was in the old Mabuhay Gardens.  In front of me was the stage and behind it I could see a bare wall.  I had come here many times in the late 70's to see punk shows. I tried to remember the bands I saw but all I could think of was SVT and my friend Joe's band. It didn't look like there were any more rock shows held here.  Now it looked like it was a big space you could rent out for parties and receptions.  
      An assistant told us to line up against the stage in groups of four so she could take our picture with her i phone. She was probably sending the photos to another assistant "something".  One of the non Asians was given a different jacket to wear.  It was in the Member's Only vein but nothing fancy on the shoulders and there were two stripes of brown and tan running down the sleeves. One of the extras who I had seen earlier eating a hot dog said "You should keep it!"
    A production assistant told us to take all of our belongings because we would not be coming back here as we were going to a new holding area closer to the location. We were all stuffed in a big black van and driven to an unused restaurant space next to Portsmouth Square.  I was starting to get a migraine.  After all of the extras had sat down at round tables with lazy susans we were given instructions as to what we were to do. It was going to be easy. 
     We all walked up the street to the location near two popular bars. A second assistant director had us all line up again so he could see us and place us where he thought it looked best.  I have found a lighter color will get you placed better because most people wear black jackets.  I was told to stand "here" on the sidewalk which was about twenty feet from the corner of the street. A Chinese woman was placed next to me and I was supposed to use my phone as a prop.  A group of about six young people gathered next to me.  I realized they have must have been the stars.  I have never watched the show. I thought hey looked like a bunch of random people who might have worked at an art house movie theatre.  I stood there for about and hour, texted, and slyly tried to take pictures of the actors.  We were sent back to the holding area again which was about a block away.  When we got to the corner there was a woman holding a tray of empenadas. Some of the extras were taking them so I took one too.  It was a nice warm treat after being on Grant Street.
When I got back inside of the holding area I saw on two round tables were long white boxes of empenadas.  "Beef, chicken, cheese, lamb, pork..." said the hot dog eater as he read what each box held. He made his way around the table taking one of each.  It was at this point a frazzled production assistant yelled "ONLY TAKE ONE!"  He put some of the empendadas back and grabbed a bag of Cheetohs as he made his way back to the table.
     After our break was over we went back out on Grant street "single file" and were placed again. The actors were to walk down the street away from the bar.  About an hour later we were done and told to get a lunch on our way out. I turned in my paper work and went to get some food.  There were roast beef, veggie, BLT, and tuna sandwiches left.  They were enclosed in stackable plastic  containers which I personally hate.  Next to the sandwich in its own compartment was a small serving of corkscrew pasta salad. I decided to take the veggie to go.  It had avocado and cheese on it.
     I walked down Grant and headed toward Union Square. I passed a guy who was sleeping in a refrigerator box. It was in the doorway of an upscale shop. I put the sandwich next to a cup of water at the opening of the box. I continued walking and passed the ice rink in Union Square and then to Geary where I didn't see a bus coming so I kept walking. I wondered if my friend was bar tending tonight on Geary. At exactly the same moment as I was thinking about one friend, I saw another friend who works at the same bar walking towards me.  I told him what I had been doing and then he said he may need me to buy him something at the liquor store.  I was confused.  He didn't have his license because he had renewed it but it hadn't been sent to him. We walked down the block to a liquor store. He grabbed a bottle of Martini Sweet Vermouth and gave me $10 to pay for it. He told me to keep the change. Once when I was in New York a teenager asked me to buy him some beer.  At that time the drinking age was 19.  The dude gave me the money, I went in and got the beer and a fudgesicle for myself.  I gave him the beer and when he saw that I had bought a fudgesicle with the change I told him it was my payment.   
As I looked down Geary I could see a bus approaching.  I said goodbye to my friend and got on the bus. About fifteen minutes later I got off the bus near my house and went into the closest and most expensive market and bought a Strawberry It's It with the change from the vermouth.

I Like Hairy Bush

I have been trying to make a go of it as an urban organic gardener.  I have a little patch of sand where I've built raised beds and now grow a substantial amount of strawberries for one person.  I have acquired a decent amount of skills. It may help that I am the son of a farmer.
I now work part time for a gardening company that sets up organic gardens for people.  Most of the clients seem to be new residents to the city and they get paid a pretty good hourly wage.
The best garden that I set up was in the Mission District. That area of town gets the most sun.  On my last visit I saw that the pineapple sage had grown to cover a third of the 4'x8' bed.  Arugula flowers were tall and lemon cucumbers were going to be abundant. The tomato plants had crawled through the bamboo stakes and were now starting to droop with the weight of green tomatoes.
How would it look a month later? It was almost time for my visit.  I was excited.  Mainly I wanted to pick some tomatoes.
I got an email from my boss that there was some bad news.  The landlord didn't want the tenant to have the garden because his water bill was too high. She wanted me to return my key to the garden by dropping it in the clients mailbox. This meant I still had to go back there.  Maybe there were still tomatoes.  I brought my new cloth tote that I won from the library, just in case.  I found a parking space easily and saw the #267 mail slot which was where I was to drop the key.   I went to the downstairs gate and used my key one last time to take a glimpse at the garden. Last time I checked the garden I was shocked.  Some of the plants had grown at least three feet tall.  Radishes were the size of golf balls. I harvested more carrots than the couple could eat in a week.

 This time I was shocked again.  Everything was gone.  No wood from the garden beds, no drip irrigation, no strawberry plants, no arugula, no parsley, no thyme, no bell peppers,and no basil. Looking down at the perfectly leveled dirt of the former food supplier I saw a few red and green cherry tomatoes.  I thought about picking one up to see if it was still good but the entire situation just made me mad and sad at the same time. I just left.  I passed through the downstairs corridor and up some stairs to the front of the apartments.  I looked through the glass of door #267 to see if anyone was home but I also didn't really care.  I dropped the key through the slot and  heard it "klunk" on the wood floor.